WHY HAVE I NEGLECTED XANGA?!!!?
&now i have an explosion of feelings.
I feel lucky.
I feel lucky i grew up a good kid. Even through all the crap i
went through, the things i’ve seen & heard, all the brokenness. It was just something. I could say it was all me but I’d probably
be lying if I didn’t say God most likely did it all in me. There are so many things I can do. I’m capable of so much.
There’s so much I’ve done. I have so many accomplishments. I put myself down comparing to others. I’m not smart enough.
I’m not motivated enough. I’m not skinny enough. I’m not pretty
enough. I’m not enough of this & that. But I realized. What if
I’m perfect? & then I sat there & really thought about it.. realizing..
just exactly how perfect I am. That God made no mistakes & that
these “flaws” I see are not flaws but traits. To set me apart. To
distinguish the Cathy Jimin Woo that I am. My family makes me who I am. I love them (no matter how much
we may argue & no matter how broken we may seem).
My friends make me who I am. I’ve met some awesome people who
encourage me & rebuke me when I need it. They know me. I need
to remind myself that I’m defined by the people I choose to
surround myself with.
Myself. I make who I am. I am a daughter of God. I am His servant. My name is Cathy Jimin Woo.
I’m writing this entry to remind myself of who I am. I don’t want to
forget and hopefully won’t. I love God. I know I don’t deserve His love,
mercy, forgiveness, & most importantly His grace. That’s why I feel
so broken and terrible when I realize I don’t spend enough time with Him.
He deserves my attention and I find myself busy with so much else.
On the other hand. I’m passionate about life. I know I’m meant to be
in the Hospitality industry. That’s why I’m at Cal Poly Pomona in the
Hospitality program. I’m so blessed to be here. I’m a pretty hard worker.
I aim high. I try to get the best grades I can. I know I’m not smart. I
don’t look down on myself for that though. Because, I know that there’s
nobody that works as hard as I do. I even got an opportunity to be in
the Eboard for the Cal Poly Hospitality Association as Secretary. I know
that I don’t do much because I’m not given much responsibility, but I make
sure that I accomplish my tasks with the highest of standards. And even
more blessing is that I was able to serve as DPD this year in KCCC. Through
this opportunity I’ve grown so much. I’ve gotten to really spend time with
God & realize that I can do so much to serve Him. And all of this I got to be
leader for only in my 2nd year of college. I’m so blessed to be living close to
my campus & out of my home. I’ve grown even more independent &
learned how to really take care of myself through life. Having no car I struggle
everyday. Feeling so bad asking for rides. Feeling so rude. That is why I’m
truly blessed by my job on campus. The pay is higher than anyone I know with
a campus job. I got the job on the spot & with no work study. It was such
a relief & blessing. God provided me with the job b/c He always provides.
My fluent Korean speaking skills have given me great job opportunities when
I’ve needed it. My experience with different jobs has been amazing & fun.
Being American born I’m lucky my Korean is good enough that I have no accent.
I never went to Korean school. How lucky am I? I even speak a little Spanish
and Mandarin thanks to getting the opportunity to learn them at school.
I’ve been struggling to find a new church. After serving in TKC it was hard to
leave. It was an amazing opportunity for me that helped me to grow with God.
But I feel like God made me leave so I can go out & find Him in a different
way as I myself have changed too. I have a passion for people & food. I love
to meet and get to know people. Such wonderful experiences and personalities
and other things that make people so unique. It’s exciting and a blessing.
I love food. Honestly, I’m so lucky I can eat as much as I do. I’m not skinny
but I don’t mind the way I look if I get to eat all the dessert I want. I see food
as art. Satisfying a pallet. Creating something people can enjoy. I’m glad I
don’t go clubbing and partying all the time. I’m glad I didn’t get sucked into
smoking and drugs. I’m glad that I don’t have the urge to get drunk everyday.
I’m glad I’m a virgin and that I don’t sleep around. I’m glad that I don’t feel
pressured to have to do all these degrading things to be cool and thing that
these things will give me a right to call myself experienced in life.
My confidence in myself is extremely strong. My morals are as hard as stone.
My standards for myself are high. I am not shaken. I am classy and worth it.
I can do anything I set my mind to. I’m going to have a bright future. I
am blessed with a voice. I love music. I grew up playing piano, clarinet,
& saxaphone. Not everyone can read music. Not everyone can sing either.
God blessed me with these talents. (Even though I’m not celebrity status
I realized that it’s still not something everyone has been blessed with). I can
draw too. I love sketching, & I’m not too bad. I can play sports. I can crack
a joke. I can lead. I can influence. I can be creative. I can do much…
And I have all these talents because God wants us to offer everything to Him.
He meant for me to be capable of so much because He deserves a lot. What
an intelligent God. Hahahaha :) What a cute Father. So giving & loving.
I have clothes on my back. Food in my stomach. A place to stay. An education.
AHHHHHHHHHHh I’m just way too blessed for being so unworthy. This may have sounded like a long list of bragging or showing off but I
can say from my heart that I do not mind if people think that. I know myself
that I did not write & say these kind of these things for that purpose. I did
this to remind myself of who I am. A blessed daughter of God just so
incredibly thankful for everything I have and am =) | 
!!
